Remember how I said September had gone by fast? I blinked and the same happened with October. Which is totally unfair, because this is my favourite time of the year. I adore the colors of nature during autumn, taking walks in the forest, collecting orange and yellow leaves and conkers. This process always seems to last shorter than spring or summer. Especially when you are busy with meeting the deadlines from work or your study, which is always a bit overwhelming at the start of the school year. But we made it! The first essays are in and now I’m anxiously waiting for my results. And whilst I wait, I blog, I write, I watch movies, apply for internships and most of all: stay at home.
At the beginning of this month I got bad news: My exchange to study abroad in England was cancelled. It’s not the end of the world, I see that, I know that. There are so much worse things going on in the world right now and the decision that the exchanges are cancelled is completely appropriate, but still. I felt so sad. Devastated, really. It was the one thing I looked forward to for the past years. My dream to go to England and live there finally becoming reality. And then that perfect bubble was popped and it hurt. It still hurts, but not as much as it did then. I am healing from the disappointment and starting to see the other opportunities that lay ahead of me.
This was kind of a scary period for my mental health. I was balancing on a very thin line, trying to stay positive, but actually I just wanted to burst out into tears every minute. I don’t think it was just the England-thing, but that was what that tipped me over the edge. I like to plan out everything, and when this got cancelled I did not really see what else was in store for me. Or to look forward to. I was unable to cheer myself up for a while and that really freaked me out.
The one thing that really helped in getting over my sad-streak was seeing my friends again after a while. We did one of our infamous game nights and played poker for the first time (for fun!). It was a night filled with lolz and we stayed over at my friend’s house way too late, but it was great and just what I needed. Who would’ve thought that an introvert like me could enjoy being out of the house? That’s what a virus does to you.
School-wise I tried to meet every deadline. In a group assignment we interviewed a programmer from a theatre, which was a lot of fun. I made a research proposal for my thesis and tried not to get an existential crisis from seeking out the relevance of my proposed research. (The “do not disturb”/”niet storen” sign on my door is used when I have online classes (: )
I also made a sale on Redbubble! I had kind of forgotten I put some designs on there and suddenly got a mail in my inbox that said someone bought a t-shirt. How cool is that?
Due to a lack of things to do, my mom started to look at old videos and photographs.. So I had to include one of the pictures
where I don’t look like a crazy person and share with you the joy, but also the slight embarrassment, that comes with looking back. Above I am pictured at a bowling alley, staring intensely at the bowling ball so I can move it with my telekinetic powers and score a strike.
Not going to England means I will be stuck in my room for a little longer. So, I’ve decided to spike things up a little and paint my wall. I have yet to decide which colour I’m going to use and cannot choose between pink or green. I now have a light green wall which I would like to be a bit darker. (Also, my favourite bedding (with the roses) ripped?! So sad..)
After I handed in my assignments, I went to Utrecht to return some books to the library. I took the opportunity to also shop around a bit and look in some new shops that had opened around the city. It was nice being out, but it felt very strange as well. This was also the first time since March (!) that I had been to the university.
In Utrecht I bought new polymer clay to make earrings. I was inspired by this picture of the film Wings of Desire and really like how they turned out. I also made seals with a glue gun and am hoping the flowers will arrive unscathed at their destination.
And last but not least two GIF’s that perfectly capture my media and music intake from this month. First of all we have a scene from Mamma Mia where they sing ‘Lay All Your Love on Me’ (from ABBA, of course) and do a weird dancy thing. This is exactly how I felt doing the Jerusalema challenge for work. I also became slightly obsessed with the Office after seeing memes of that show everywhere.
How was your October?